All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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