My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
