When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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