So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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