Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
