I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
