I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
