Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
