woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i now understand why vodka
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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