so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
