Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
