I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i think im in europe. pls send help
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize