Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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