Christians are straight up FREAKS
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
