Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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