I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The air taste purple.
Randomize