god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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