There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
