I wanna bring you to show and tell
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
