woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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