I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i used baking grease as lip gloss
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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