Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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