What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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