dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
