Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
