So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
