god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
