I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
