yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
