He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
