maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
