I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
