Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize