I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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