well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
