So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
