dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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