OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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