So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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