We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I didn't notice because vodka
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
