honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
