Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
