I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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