dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
