hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
