I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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