I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
