Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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