you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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