You surviving the open bar?
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He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
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