Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
