another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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