I need help removing her.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
