and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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