and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
